Swimming Out Into An Ocean

I’m reaching the end of my maternity leave. I thought I would be excited for this stage, but the excitement is completely marred by worry. I’ve decided not to return to my job, and to focus on Rogue Wood Supply,

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Swimming Out Into An Ocean

I’m reaching the end of my maternity leave. I thought I would be excited for this stage, but the excitement is completely marred by worry. I’ve decided not to return to my job, and to focus on Rogue Wood Supply,

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This Will Never Be Your House

Before I ever dreamed of my sweet girl, I was sitting at a friend’s house. It was 9pm and her (awesome, thoughtful, loving) kids had destroyed the kitchen and living room space. There were pieces of half-eaten toast stuck between

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This Will Never Be Your House

Before I ever dreamed of my sweet girl, I was sitting at a friend’s house. It was 9pm and her (awesome, thoughtful, loving) kids had destroyed the kitchen and living room space. There were pieces of half-eaten toast stuck between

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Western South Dakota Wind

Outside the sliding glass door, the wind chimes are singing a summer song. I’ve left the door open and the wind is making the water in the dog’s dish dance; the warm beams of sunlight reflected on the ceiling are

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Western South Dakota Wind

Outside the sliding glass door, the wind chimes are singing a summer song. I’ve left the door open and the wind is making the water in the dog’s dish dance; the warm beams of sunlight reflected on the ceiling are

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Make It All Better

I grew up with my mom and brother. My mom and dad divorced when I was four. My mom did all she could to make our childhood as good as it could be under the circumstances. She was my world.

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Make It All Better

I grew up with my mom and brother. My mom and dad divorced when I was four. My mom did all she could to make our childhood as good as it could be under the circumstances. She was my world.

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Claiming Home

How to retell a story and embrace death? Let’s begin with calling in the proper scene to make it feel safe and we orient ourselves. Let’s begin with clean water to drink, a full tummy, fresh sheets and gratitude to

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Claiming Home

How to retell a story and embrace death? Let’s begin with calling in the proper scene to make it feel safe and we orient ourselves. Let’s begin with clean water to drink, a full tummy, fresh sheets and gratitude to

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Family

Two weeks ago, I found out I needed surgery on my mouth. A generally routine procedure of removing two wisdom teeth and a cyst beneath my left wisdom tooth. Upon discovering it, I felt an overwhelming sense, and need, to

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Family

Two weeks ago, I found out I needed surgery on my mouth. A generally routine procedure of removing two wisdom teeth and a cyst beneath my left wisdom tooth. Upon discovering it, I felt an overwhelming sense, and need, to

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All the good things

It feels like suddenly there is light everywhere, accompanied by fresh sounds, fresh smells, and magnolias in full bloom at every corner…a real awakening. The entire city seems to be breathing a collective sigh of relief that the long months

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All the good things

It feels like suddenly there is light everywhere, accompanied by fresh sounds, fresh smells, and magnolias in full bloom at every corner…a real awakening. The entire city seems to be breathing a collective sigh of relief that the long months

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Taking Some Time

My partner and I broke up in October, but it was more like we were just taking some space. I thought, naively I suppose, that we would eventually get back together. We were together for two years. Even though we

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Taking Some Time

My partner and I broke up in October, but it was more like we were just taking some space. I thought, naively I suppose, that we would eventually get back together. We were together for two years. Even though we

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Notes from the Other Side

1. Rhythm of Life by Kindred the Family Soul. This is how I want to be loved, but I don’t know if the world allows love for normal people anymore.  I see what is touted as beauty and I meet

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Notes from the Other Side

1. Rhythm of Life by Kindred the Family Soul. This is how I want to be loved, but I don’t know if the world allows love for normal people anymore.  I see what is touted as beauty and I meet

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Backup

i looked everywhere. near the toothbrushes and face creams, next to the baby bottles and teething cookies, near the stacks of vitamins. near the boxes of loose tea, too. nothing. maybe near the milk or ground coffee? no luck. i

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Backup

i looked everywhere. near the toothbrushes and face creams, next to the baby bottles and teething cookies, near the stacks of vitamins. near the boxes of loose tea, too. nothing. maybe near the milk or ground coffee? no luck. i

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THE OTHER ME, part two

“Do you mind if I eat?” I ask her, “I’ve been running around all morning and I forgot to eat breakfast.” I quickly scan my menu before she can protest. Actually, my fridge is just empty. I had to renew

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THE OTHER ME, part two

“Do you mind if I eat?” I ask her, “I’ve been running around all morning and I forgot to eat breakfast.” I quickly scan my menu before she can protest. Actually, my fridge is just empty. I had to renew

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The Beginning

May this pure intention of peace and reconciliation bring healing.

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The Beginning

May this pure intention of peace and reconciliation bring healing.

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Sharing Practice  

back in the day i cringed when i was published, shrunk from exclamations like, “You can really write!” and “How come you never shared?” in the owl hours, pride wells up as poems spill out and wet that fresh sandbox

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Sharing Practice  

back in the day i cringed when i was published, shrunk from exclamations like, “You can really write!” and “How come you never shared?” in the owl hours, pride wells up as poems spill out and wet that fresh sandbox

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Men Act And Women Appear

I ran into one of my friends a few days ago. She grabbed my hair and commented on my new short hair, “I like it, when did you do it?” I looked at her and asked her if I looked

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Men Act And Women Appear

I ran into one of my friends a few days ago. She grabbed my hair and commented on my new short hair, “I like it, when did you do it?” I looked at her and asked her if I looked

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Following to Lead / Being flown by Life

The deep intention and prayer has been cast, the space has been carved out and so we head into the Redwood forest in the poring rain. Every cell in my body is porous to the familiar feeling of soaking rain. Her soft

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Following to Lead / Being flown by Life

The deep intention and prayer has been cast, the space has been carved out and so we head into the Redwood forest in the poring rain. Every cell in my body is porous to the familiar feeling of soaking rain. Her soft

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Flying

February 17, 2013. N, age five and a half, practices flying off her parents’ bed while wearing a Hello Kitty cape. Not pictured is A, almost two years old, wearing a diaper and bug sunglasses, also flying and jumping. They

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Flying

February 17, 2013. N, age five and a half, practices flying off her parents’ bed while wearing a Hello Kitty cape. Not pictured is A, almost two years old, wearing a diaper and bug sunglasses, also flying and jumping. They

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The Two States of Sthira/Sukham.

Sthira Sukham Asanum is the 2.46 verse of Pantanjali’s Yoga Sutras. An ancient yogic text. This sutra describes yoga postures as a way for physical harmony fluctuating between steadiness and ease. This theme of duality, a dedication to the ancient

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The Two States of Sthira/Sukham.

Sthira Sukham Asanum is the 2.46 verse of Pantanjali’s Yoga Sutras. An ancient yogic text. This sutra describes yoga postures as a way for physical harmony fluctuating between steadiness and ease. This theme of duality, a dedication to the ancient

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Discovering My Light

“What the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a butterfly” –Richard Bach When the caterpillar creates its cocoon it is creating total darkness and a tight vehicle of protection so that it can go through the

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Discovering My Light

“What the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a butterfly” –Richard Bach When the caterpillar creates its cocoon it is creating total darkness and a tight vehicle of protection so that it can go through the

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My Mom

My mom and I have always had a close relationship. Close, however, does not necessarily imply easy or simple or always joyful. Our closeness is founded in our ability to communicate openly with each other, including when we are unhappy

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My Mom

My mom and I have always had a close relationship. Close, however, does not necessarily imply easy or simple or always joyful. Our closeness is founded in our ability to communicate openly with each other, including when we are unhappy

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Not Afraid to be Afraid

I don’t expect people to watch this video in its entirety, in fact I hope for your sake you don’t (it’s really long). Most of you probably won’t even understand what I am saying, so it will seem even stranger.

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Not Afraid to be Afraid

I don’t expect people to watch this video in its entirety, in fact I hope for your sake you don’t (it’s really long). Most of you probably won’t even understand what I am saying, so it will seem even stranger.

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The Other Me

“Do you mind if I eat?” she asks, “I’ve been running around all morning and I forgot to eat breakfast.” I shake my head and give her a quick smile. I pick up a menu as well out of politeness

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The Other Me

“Do you mind if I eat?” she asks, “I’ve been running around all morning and I forgot to eat breakfast.” I shake my head and give her a quick smile. I pick up a menu as well out of politeness

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Two Homes

“The best way to make children good is to make them happy.”  – Oscar Wilde Tonight is one of those nights when I am at home with my sweet fiancée and baby dog. My son is with his dad. A

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Two Homes

“The best way to make children good is to make them happy.”  – Oscar Wilde Tonight is one of those nights when I am at home with my sweet fiancée and baby dog. My son is with his dad. A

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24 Hours With Our Girl

a montage of photos from 24 hours with our girl. she went to the hospital a few weeks ago; she had swallowed some of her spit and in my sheer exhaustion (she was going through a growth spurt and nursing

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24 Hours With Our Girl

a montage of photos from 24 hours with our girl. she went to the hospital a few weeks ago; she had swallowed some of her spit and in my sheer exhaustion (she was going through a growth spurt and nursing

/ One Comment

Blaze

   

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Blaze

   

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Memory

Recently I began to write an essay about childhood food memories because I thought they were presentable.  I thought they were exactly what they appeared to be, good memories without shame or shadow. As I wrote, however, I realized that

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Memory

Recently I began to write an essay about childhood food memories because I thought they were presentable.  I thought they were exactly what they appeared to be, good memories without shame or shadow. As I wrote, however, I realized that

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Double Consciousness

“It is a peculiar sensation, this double-consciousness, this sense of always looking at one’s self through the eyes of others, of measuring one’s soul by the tape of a world that looks on in amused contempt and pity. One ever

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Double Consciousness

“It is a peculiar sensation, this double-consciousness, this sense of always looking at one’s self through the eyes of others, of measuring one’s soul by the tape of a world that looks on in amused contempt and pity. One ever

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Freewrite

I don’t want to share this freewrite.   I am accustomed to presenting finished meals, final drafts, and performing songs after having practiced them a thousand times.  This is a freewrite: the birthplace of a poem before it’s edited.  A

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Freewrite

I don’t want to share this freewrite.   I am accustomed to presenting finished meals, final drafts, and performing songs after having practiced them a thousand times.  This is a freewrite: the birthplace of a poem before it’s edited.  A

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Embracing The Darkness To Discover The Light

“It is in the darkness that the cocoon becomes a butterfly” — Proverb The butterfly is a living metaphor for rebirth.  The Greek Goddess, Psyche, who is also known as the Butterfly Goddess, exemplifies a woman’s search for her authentic

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Embracing The Darkness To Discover The Light

“It is in the darkness that the cocoon becomes a butterfly” — Proverb The butterfly is a living metaphor for rebirth.  The Greek Goddess, Psyche, who is also known as the Butterfly Goddess, exemplifies a woman’s search for her authentic

/ 4 Comments

Sthira/Sukham

Sthira Sukham Asanum is the 2.46 verse of Pantanjali’s Yoga Sutras. An ancient yogic text. It describes yoga postures as a way for physical harmony fluctuating between steadiness and ease. This months theme of duality, reminded me of this ancient

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Sthira/Sukham

Sthira Sukham Asanum is the 2.46 verse of Pantanjali’s Yoga Sutras. An ancient yogic text. It describes yoga postures as a way for physical harmony fluctuating between steadiness and ease. This months theme of duality, reminded me of this ancient

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This Too Will Pass

There is a story from childhood that has been in my consciousness lately. I was taught in Jewish Day School that King Solomon had a ring. On one side it said the world was made for me and on the

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This Too Will Pass

There is a story from childhood that has been in my consciousness lately. I was taught in Jewish Day School that King Solomon had a ring. On one side it said the world was made for me and on the

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Dear Elijah

Dedicated to my best friend Elijah Rosello, 1988 – 2012. Dear Elijah, Happy almost birthday. On January 22nd you would be turning 28 and we would no doubt be going out dancing to celebrate. Sometimes you’re in my dreams and

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Dear Elijah

Dedicated to my best friend Elijah Rosello, 1988 – 2012. Dear Elijah, Happy almost birthday. On January 22nd you would be turning 28 and we would no doubt be going out dancing to celebrate. Sometimes you’re in my dreams and

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My Sweet Cyrus

My Sweet Cyrus, I remember so well the day I brought you home for the first time. Traumatized at only 14 weeks, you would only calm if I kept you inside my coat. It was late October & we walked two

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My Sweet Cyrus

My Sweet Cyrus, I remember so well the day I brought you home for the first time. Traumatized at only 14 weeks, you would only calm if I kept you inside my coat. It was late October & we walked two

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Shevat (Aquarius)

shevat is the 11th month of the jewish calendar year. the teachers of the kabbalah, ask us this month, to focus on the pleasure and complexities of consumption, for both body and soul. shevat marks the new year for trees, an ancient

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Shevat (Aquarius)

shevat is the 11th month of the jewish calendar year. the teachers of the kabbalah, ask us this month, to focus on the pleasure and complexities of consumption, for both body and soul. shevat marks the new year for trees, an ancient

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Dear Wesley Jude

Dear Wesley Jude, You are napping in the next room. Fitfully. You have never been a good sleeper, and you have two teeth coming in, so things have gone from bad to worse. I am so tired right now I

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Dear Wesley Jude

Dear Wesley Jude, You are napping in the next room. Fitfully. You have never been a good sleeper, and you have two teeth coming in, so things have gone from bad to worse. I am so tired right now I

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Dear Future Husband

Dear Future Husband, Before you asked me to marry you, I started writing my vows: I am starting this prematurely. We are not even engaged, but in my heart I know someday I will be reading this to you and

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Dear Future Husband

Dear Future Husband, Before you asked me to marry you, I started writing my vows: I am starting this prematurely. We are not even engaged, but in my heart I know someday I will be reading this to you and

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my dearest rumi-bear

my dearest rumi-bear, sweeping generalizations told me i would fall for you the moment you were placed on my chest. it didn’t happen this way for me, i was kind of disappointed and surprised. i thought i would be beside

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my dearest rumi-bear

my dearest rumi-bear, sweeping generalizations told me i would fall for you the moment you were placed on my chest. it didn’t happen this way for me, i was kind of disappointed and surprised. i thought i would be beside

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Dear Wyoming Skies

When I go out at night, I’ve never seen such stars. The vastness of your skies and colored sunsets tell me that things are going to be alright. Never have I felt so connected to your magic and nourishment. The

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Dear Wyoming Skies

When I go out at night, I’ve never seen such stars. The vastness of your skies and colored sunsets tell me that things are going to be alright. Never have I felt so connected to your magic and nourishment. The

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Dear Mama,

Dear mama, I’m writing this letter to you dear friend so that you know… Bearing witness to birth is always an awe-some experience. A newborn has never crowned in my presence without inducing tears of joy and awe. A mother

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Dear Mama,

Dear mama, I’m writing this letter to you dear friend so that you know… Bearing witness to birth is always an awe-some experience. A newborn has never crowned in my presence without inducing tears of joy and awe. A mother

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HEY YOU… YES, YOU.

Hey You, We have evolved into something quite beautiful. It’s taken years… decades. There were times I wanted to scream. I did. You heard me. You saw me cry, but you were relentless and pushed me beyond my comfort zone.

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HEY YOU… YES, YOU.

Hey You, We have evolved into something quite beautiful. It’s taken years… decades. There were times I wanted to scream. I did. You heard me. You saw me cry, but you were relentless and pushed me beyond my comfort zone.

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Dear Canon de Guadalupe

Dear Canon de Guadalupe, I feel enraptured by the road that has brought me southward . The whole journey has been incredible. Your mountains have been pulsing through me with the rising sun ushering me towards you and softly integrating

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Dear Canon de Guadalupe

Dear Canon de Guadalupe, I feel enraptured by the road that has brought me southward . The whole journey has been incredible. Your mountains have been pulsing through me with the rising sun ushering me towards you and softly integrating

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London. Boston. Swakopmund. Miami.

Dear London, It’s easier for me to write letters to cities than it is for me to write them to people. I love both so hard, but it seems more acceptable to express that love to a place. An inanimate

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London. Boston. Swakopmund. Miami.

Dear London, It’s easier for me to write letters to cities than it is for me to write them to people. I love both so hard, but it seems more acceptable to express that love to a place. An inanimate

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Dear Journal

Dear Journal, It has been 30 years since our relationship started and I must say you have saved my life many times.  You have been like a therapist, a friend, confidant and inspiration to me.  I never thought when I

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Dear Journal

Dear Journal, It has been 30 years since our relationship started and I must say you have saved my life many times.  You have been like a therapist, a friend, confidant and inspiration to me.  I never thought when I

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Dear Women, Dear Sisters~

Dear Women, Dear Sisters~ My Letter to you is certainly a Love Letter that has been welling with the clear amber radiance of molasses in my heart and flowing through my body, through my dance, in my nature forever. My

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Dear Women, Dear Sisters~

Dear Women, Dear Sisters~ My Letter to you is certainly a Love Letter that has been welling with the clear amber radiance of molasses in my heart and flowing through my body, through my dance, in my nature forever. My

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Dear Urban Someone

Dear Urban Someone, Do you miss trees? You were in my dream last night. We were dancing in the ballroom.  You smiled at me as I approached and then told me you weren’t in the mood. Your mother was there

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Dear Urban Someone

Dear Urban Someone, Do you miss trees? You were in my dream last night. We were dancing in the ballroom.  You smiled at me as I approached and then told me you weren’t in the mood. Your mother was there

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To My Best Friend

To my best friend I hated you so often. You hurt me so much. Why did you make me wear this pale, translucent skin, so prone to bruising, so sickly looking, so useless at protecting me from the sun? Why

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To My Best Friend

To my best friend I hated you so often. You hurt me so much. Why did you make me wear this pale, translucent skin, so prone to bruising, so sickly looking, so useless at protecting me from the sun? Why

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Tevet (Capricorn)

hebrew tevet sign capricorn month 10 // symbols anger, emotional maturity Tevet, according to the Kabbalists, is the moon associated with the experience of anger.  Anger, neither positive or negative in itself, has the ability empower when harnessed with integrity or destroy and cause suffering when

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Tevet (Capricorn)

hebrew tevet sign capricorn month 10 // symbols anger, emotional maturity Tevet, according to the Kabbalists, is the moon associated with the experience of anger.  Anger, neither positive or negative in itself, has the ability empower when harnessed with integrity or destroy and cause suffering when

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Today

Today, I want to ask myself What is it, that makes me weak? It is a monotonous day round Or the fear I abound, The fear of being a loser- The fear of loosing friends- The fear of letting the

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Today

Today, I want to ask myself What is it, that makes me weak? It is a monotonous day round Or the fear I abound, The fear of being a loser- The fear of loosing friends- The fear of letting the

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Reading Music In Braille

The path to the end is overwrought with thorns communicating with you is like trying to read music in braille     have you ever found in her, the soil you were looking for from behind your smile, her counterattack

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Reading Music In Braille

The path to the end is overwrought with thorns communicating with you is like trying to read music in braille     have you ever found in her, the soil you were looking for from behind your smile, her counterattack

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Fracas

Cheeks turning pink      her blood is pulsating to boil.      she sways, moving away from him. What? Nothing. He can’t see straight      her face blurs into the background      uncomfortable, he laughs. Really? He

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Fracas

Cheeks turning pink      her blood is pulsating to boil.      she sways, moving away from him. What? Nothing. He can’t see straight      her face blurs into the background      uncomfortable, he laughs. Really? He

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When Anger Heals

I’ve carried anger and rage with me since I was a small girl. It all started when my parents began to fight endless hours, when my mom would pass out drunk, when my babysitter touched me in ways that confused

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When Anger Heals

I’ve carried anger and rage with me since I was a small girl. It all started when my parents began to fight endless hours, when my mom would pass out drunk, when my babysitter touched me in ways that confused

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Open Letter

“Abuse and neglect negate love. Care and affirmation, the opposite of abuse and humiliation, are the foundation of love. No one can rightfully claim to be loving when behaving abusively.” ― Bell Hooks, All About Love: New Visions I spent a lot

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Open Letter

“Abuse and neglect negate love. Care and affirmation, the opposite of abuse and humiliation, are the foundation of love. No one can rightfully claim to be loving when behaving abusively.” ― Bell Hooks, All About Love: New Visions I spent a lot

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Plastic and Anger

“I like to write in a neat room, although I am very disorganized. The order seems to give me space; my eyes and my soul crave space.” From Gabriel Mistral’s essay Como Escribo My room is a mess right now.

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Plastic and Anger

“I like to write in a neat room, although I am very disorganized. The order seems to give me space; my eyes and my soul crave space.” From Gabriel Mistral’s essay Como Escribo My room is a mess right now.

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Believe In Our Own Safety

Oh man, am I angry these days. World news, terrorism, politics, the treatment of animals, and all the stuff happening in my personal life – I’m outraged. But the outrage comes from a place of sadness, fear, insecurity. I don’t want to let recent

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Believe In Our Own Safety

Oh man, am I angry these days. World news, terrorism, politics, the treatment of animals, and all the stuff happening in my personal life – I’m outraged. But the outrage comes from a place of sadness, fear, insecurity. I don’t want to let recent

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Don’t Call Me Beautiful

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” Mark Twain Nothing calms me more than a cup of hot water, making everything better one sip

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Don’t Call Me Beautiful

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.” Mark Twain Nothing calms me more than a cup of hot water, making everything better one sip

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Allowing Anger

Writing this with a lit candle before me focuses my will power, that unique spark.  To draw from the well of creative flow, the 3rd spinning wheel at the center of my being must be open.  As sweet as this

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Allowing Anger

Writing this with a lit candle before me focuses my will power, that unique spark.  To draw from the well of creative flow, the 3rd spinning wheel at the center of my being must be open.  As sweet as this

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Kislev (Sagittarius)

hebrew kislev sign sagittarius month 9 // symbols darkness, truth-seeker, illumination Kislev, the darkest month of the year, is associated by the Kabbalists with trust – nurturing our confidence when wandering the dark, that our hearts may illuminate a vision of what is to come. This month also contains

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Kislev (Sagittarius)

hebrew kislev sign sagittarius month 9 // symbols darkness, truth-seeker, illumination Kislev, the darkest month of the year, is associated by the Kabbalists with trust – nurturing our confidence when wandering the dark, that our hearts may illuminate a vision of what is to come. This month also contains

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Jocabed: My First Responsibility

“The moon looks wonderful in this warm evening light, just as a candle flame looks beautiful in the light of morning. Light within light…It seems to me to be a metaphor for the human soul, the singular light within that

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Jocabed: My First Responsibility

“The moon looks wonderful in this warm evening light, just as a candle flame looks beautiful in the light of morning. Light within light…It seems to me to be a metaphor for the human soul, the singular light within that

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Save My Soul

I didn’t start here, in this place where coyotes outnumber humans. Here, where my nearest neighbors are two retired ranch horses, a half-grown colt, and a pasture full of sheep. I grew up in a suburb of Detroit, with a

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Save My Soul

I didn’t start here, in this place where coyotes outnumber humans. Here, where my nearest neighbors are two retired ranch horses, a half-grown colt, and a pasture full of sheep. I grew up in a suburb of Detroit, with a

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Reality and Truth

The train hurtles through the foggy November afternoon toward the airport.  It’s barely five o’clock but darkness has already begun to settle over the city. The man next to me is on his second gin tonic light, his cheeks visibly flushed.

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Reality and Truth

The train hurtles through the foggy November afternoon toward the airport.  It’s barely five o’clock but darkness has already begun to settle over the city. The man next to me is on his second gin tonic light, his cheeks visibly flushed.

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Majestic Mountain

I was watching a documentary a few nights ago on the forming of the lands that currently make up the section of the continent named the United States of America. The land is constantly shifting, created from immense land masses

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Majestic Mountain

I was watching a documentary a few nights ago on the forming of the lands that currently make up the section of the continent named the United States of America. The land is constantly shifting, created from immense land masses

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Alabama I

We exist upon a multitude of layers–from the chief known as the black warrior and the ancient mound builders to the marchers, the protesters, and the everyday people intent on leaving lasting marks. They all drew their lines and ached

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Alabama I

We exist upon a multitude of layers–from the chief known as the black warrior and the ancient mound builders to the marchers, the protesters, and the everyday people intent on leaving lasting marks. They all drew their lines and ached

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Plane Truths

A few weeks ago I sat next to a woman on an airplane ride. Our conversation began around the time of beverage service & continued through our bumpy landing nearly 3 hours later. We talked as old friends would, speaking

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Plane Truths

A few weeks ago I sat next to a woman on an airplane ride. Our conversation began around the time of beverage service & continued through our bumpy landing nearly 3 hours later. We talked as old friends would, speaking

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My Mind Wonders

Autumn is here. My favorite season, yet a time of year when I feel most vulnerable. I love the vibrant colors, the comfortable temperatures—neither too hot nor too cold—and wearing boots, those heavy things that make me feel that much

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My Mind Wonders

Autumn is here. My favorite season, yet a time of year when I feel most vulnerable. I love the vibrant colors, the comfortable temperatures—neither too hot nor too cold—and wearing boots, those heavy things that make me feel that much

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An Outward Curl

I have always been a truth seeker. I thrive to be authentic and centered from the core of my being. At the moment truth strikes me like a cold wind that is sobering, refreshing, invigorating and sad that the season

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An Outward Curl

I have always been a truth seeker. I thrive to be authentic and centered from the core of my being. At the moment truth strikes me like a cold wind that is sobering, refreshing, invigorating and sad that the season

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Returning

After the long rush of summer, traveling here and there for work and play, the imminence of winter turns my compass home.  Sugar maples and old oak trees bow and drip offerings of gold, ochre, scarlet and brown.  Even the fir

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Returning

After the long rush of summer, traveling here and there for work and play, the imminence of winter turns my compass home.  Sugar maples and old oak trees bow and drip offerings of gold, ochre, scarlet and brown.  Even the fir

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Seeking Truth in the Mountains

All of the mountains moved and the hurdles jumped are behind me. I hear the hum of my tires on hwy 5 heading towards Whiskeytown, Lewiston and Weaverville at last. I had left under the cloak of night with my

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Seeking Truth in the Mountains

All of the mountains moved and the hurdles jumped are behind me. I hear the hum of my tires on hwy 5 heading towards Whiskeytown, Lewiston and Weaverville at last. I had left under the cloak of night with my

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Fire, Fear & Grounding

Fire I started to consider the word fiery the other day in my yoga teacher-training program. It’s used to describe specific asanas, chakras, mantras, mudras, etc. It didn’t previously feel like a legitimate adjective, sort of how I think of

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Fire, Fear & Grounding

Fire I started to consider the word fiery the other day in my yoga teacher-training program. It’s used to describe specific asanas, chakras, mantras, mudras, etc. It didn’t previously feel like a legitimate adjective, sort of how I think of

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Home

the folding table is tucked into a desperate corner of our pre-war kitchen. on it there are piles of unopened junk mail, hot-pink napkins from a dinner party last month, some crumbs of challah, and my heavy laptop weighing down

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Home

the folding table is tucked into a desperate corner of our pre-war kitchen. on it there are piles of unopened junk mail, hot-pink napkins from a dinner party last month, some crumbs of challah, and my heavy laptop weighing down

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Emptiness, A New Moon Meditation

Emptiness is this gift, this potion, the clearest sensation of an ocean of trust. Emptiness is this baseline softness beneath it all that calls us to our heights and higher. Emptiness is this journey, this wisdom, this fleeting memory of

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Emptiness, A New Moon Meditation

Emptiness is this gift, this potion, the clearest sensation of an ocean of trust. Emptiness is this baseline softness beneath it all that calls us to our heights and higher. Emptiness is this journey, this wisdom, this fleeting memory of

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Cheshvan (Scorpio)

hebrew cheshvan sign scorpio month 8 // symbols emptiness, death + redemption Cheshvan, a month void of holidays, is spoken of by the Kabbalists as a time of attention to death and redemption. This moon is also associated with the

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Cheshvan (Scorpio)

hebrew cheshvan sign scorpio month 8 // symbols emptiness, death + redemption Cheshvan, a month void of holidays, is spoken of by the Kabbalists as a time of attention to death and redemption. This moon is also associated with the

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Tishrei (Libra)

hebrew tishrei sign libra month 7 // symbols scales, temperance, self Tishrei brings the High Holy Days and the birth of a new season, and is therefore an opportune month to set intention – engaging with the primal question of who we are,

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Tishrei (Libra)

hebrew tishrei sign libra month 7 // symbols scales, temperance, self Tishrei brings the High Holy Days and the birth of a new season, and is therefore an opportune month to set intention – engaging with the primal question of who we are,

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Bleeding Heart

This month, for the first time in a very long time, I have struggled to connect with our theme of temperance. Not that I don’t crave balance, not that I don’t desperately want to steady myself. Just that it feels

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Bleeding Heart

This month, for the first time in a very long time, I have struggled to connect with our theme of temperance. Not that I don’t crave balance, not that I don’t desperately want to steady myself. Just that it feels

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A Place To Land

This post is dedicated to Francesca Dejosia. What’s the best way to manage grief and trauma? With the recent death of a friend’s mom, I’ve been thinking about this topic a lot. Life is full of difficult experiences and how

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A Place To Land

This post is dedicated to Francesca Dejosia. What’s the best way to manage grief and trauma? With the recent death of a friend’s mom, I’ve been thinking about this topic a lot. Life is full of difficult experiences and how

/ 2 Comments

Changing Seasons

I love the question of temperance and balance. It reminds me of equanimity and the capacity to feel peace inside all experience. Our theme for this month feels deeply alive at as the summer flowers turn to dead leaves falling,

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Changing Seasons

I love the question of temperance and balance. It reminds me of equanimity and the capacity to feel peace inside all experience. Our theme for this month feels deeply alive at as the summer flowers turn to dead leaves falling,

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The Woman That I Am

language can seem universal but it is truly particular in nature. the language i use to describe my story, while constructed by another, is meant to relay my unique experience. language is limited, culturally imprisoned. it is hard to tell

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The Woman That I Am

language can seem universal but it is truly particular in nature. the language i use to describe my story, while constructed by another, is meant to relay my unique experience. language is limited, culturally imprisoned. it is hard to tell

/ 3 Comments

Everything Balances Out

The nature of life is balance. Polarities of yin and yang, balancing each other, like hot and cold, full and empty, dark and light. No favoritism to the right or left. Each playing a part. Balance is a dynamic state,

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Everything Balances Out

The nature of life is balance. Polarities of yin and yang, balancing each other, like hot and cold, full and empty, dark and light. No favoritism to the right or left. Each playing a part. Balance is a dynamic state,

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Let The Body Settle

I seek equipoise inner child, innocent child eternal guardian of the path before she was taught to judge she witnessed. the scales of life didn’t exist beneath my anxiety there is anger below anger, fear working through each betrayal appearance

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Let The Body Settle

I seek equipoise inner child, innocent child eternal guardian of the path before she was taught to judge she witnessed. the scales of life didn’t exist beneath my anxiety there is anger below anger, fear working through each betrayal appearance

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Never Too Late.

The New Year has arrived and all that I did not accomplish that I set out to last year, in terms of my personal, professional and spiritual life, I can still do now. I’m a work in progress and acknowledging

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Never Too Late.

The New Year has arrived and all that I did not accomplish that I set out to last year, in terms of my personal, professional and spiritual life, I can still do now. I’m a work in progress and acknowledging

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Fire On Paugh Lake

My eyes soften to the barrage of jade green earth streaming past. The plentiful farms and fields near Ottawa, Canada are a unified front of tall corn stalks with their golden locks cast in the wind. Off into the backcountry

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Fire On Paugh Lake

My eyes soften to the barrage of jade green earth streaming past. The plentiful farms and fields near Ottawa, Canada are a unified front of tall corn stalks with their golden locks cast in the wind. Off into the backcountry

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New Moon, An Interview

Carrie: Hey, Jade. Jade: Hi Littlebit. Carrie: We have an amazing life, but I still seems to have bad anxiety. So last month I went to the doctor. They diagnosed me with PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder). It’s a severe type

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New Moon, An Interview

Carrie: Hey, Jade. Jade: Hi Littlebit. Carrie: We have an amazing life, but I still seems to have bad anxiety. So last month I went to the doctor. They diagnosed me with PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder). It’s a severe type

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Working Mom

This morning, as per our usual, my son and I walked my husband to the train. Today it felt different, the coolness beneath the humidity is lifting and fall is certainly coming. I feel grounding in my being. Fall is

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Working Mom

This morning, as per our usual, my son and I walked my husband to the train. Today it felt different, the coolness beneath the humidity is lifting and fall is certainly coming. I feel grounding in my being. Fall is

/ One Comment

Elul (Virgo)

hebrew elul sign virgo month 6 // symbols virgin, beloved, inner-dialogue Elul is a time of attentiveness and anticipation, preparing our minds and hearts for the upcoming season and new year. It is an auspicious moment to process our inner-dialogue, returning us to a voice that is

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Elul (Virgo)

hebrew elul sign virgo month 6 // symbols virgin, beloved, inner-dialogue Elul is a time of attentiveness and anticipation, preparing our minds and hearts for the upcoming season and new year. It is an auspicious moment to process our inner-dialogue, returning us to a voice that is

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Internal Voices of Elul

Sometimes the internal voices guiding me are reminiscent of A Christmas Carol- think Christmas past, Christmas present, and Christmas future, only without Christmas.  Here, in Elul, a time of contemplation, of heshbon ha-nefesh (accounting of the soul), I think of

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Internal Voices of Elul

Sometimes the internal voices guiding me are reminiscent of A Christmas Carol- think Christmas past, Christmas present, and Christmas future, only without Christmas.  Here, in Elul, a time of contemplation, of heshbon ha-nefesh (accounting of the soul), I think of

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Love, This Will Be Excruciating

My August 2015 Self Writes a Letter to My February 2011 Self Love, do you remember that day you sat with Mom — maybe two weeks before she died—and she sat on the edge of her bed, crying?  How she

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Love, This Will Be Excruciating

My August 2015 Self Writes a Letter to My February 2011 Self Love, do you remember that day you sat with Mom — maybe two weeks before she died—and she sat on the edge of her bed, crying?  How she

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Talk To Me

This past year I avoided being alone with myself. I don’t mean that I was constantly in the company of other people; rather, I didn’t want to be alone with my own thoughts. I found that the best way to

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Talk To Me

This past year I avoided being alone with myself. I don’t mean that I was constantly in the company of other people; rather, I didn’t want to be alone with my own thoughts. I found that the best way to

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From Flesh to Ash

This month of Elul I walk in the Spirit realms and visit the graves of my beloveds. Under this New Moon and on my guard I have witnessed children, lovers, mothers, daughters, sons and strangers pass from flesh to ashes,

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From Flesh to Ash

This month of Elul I walk in the Spirit realms and visit the graves of my beloveds. Under this New Moon and on my guard I have witnessed children, lovers, mothers, daughters, sons and strangers pass from flesh to ashes,

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Integrated Dialogue

Often my inner dialogue has felt like a battle between conflicting, and seemingly contradictory parts, making it almost certain that one side will lose. In recent months, perhaps because of a deeper alignment taking place within, I’m noticing my inner dialogue

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Integrated Dialogue

Often my inner dialogue has felt like a battle between conflicting, and seemingly contradictory parts, making it almost certain that one side will lose. In recent months, perhaps because of a deeper alignment taking place within, I’m noticing my inner dialogue

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Alone Time

Elul is dedicated to ‘private reflection and inner dialogue'; since I became a mom over a year ago I’ve had little time for either.  I spend most of my days and nights with, and focused on, my son Noah.  Being Noah’s

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Alone Time

Elul is dedicated to ‘private reflection and inner dialogue'; since I became a mom over a year ago I’ve had little time for either.  I spend most of my days and nights with, and focused on, my son Noah.  Being Noah’s

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The Garden’s Wisdom

This year my garden is once again proving to be an endless source of wisdom as I continue to learn how to reconcile my natural predilection towards control with the uncontrollable forces of nature that play out in the tiny

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The Garden’s Wisdom

This year my garden is once again proving to be an endless source of wisdom as I continue to learn how to reconcile my natural predilection towards control with the uncontrollable forces of nature that play out in the tiny

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Good Enough

I was going to write zivar with the five minutes I have reserved for personal time today to say that I wouldn’t be able to hand in a post this month or worse, that I wouldn’t be able to contribute

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Good Enough

I was going to write zivar with the five minutes I have reserved for personal time today to say that I wouldn’t be able to hand in a post this month or worse, that I wouldn’t be able to contribute

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Happy

It unsettling how little I know about myself. What makes me sad, fearful, and lonely is clear but I’m unsure of what makes me happy. Or maybe I do know but I don’t see those things as worthy. Here’s a

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Happy

It unsettling how little I know about myself. What makes me sad, fearful, and lonely is clear but I’m unsure of what makes me happy. Or maybe I do know but I don’t see those things as worthy. Here’s a

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Inside Out.

10:30pm goodnight, honey. thank you for everything. for today, for this gorgeous getaway, for this birthday week. for dinner, that salad was perfect. // of course, lover. push that pillow below your back just a bit snugger? // yes. i

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Inside Out.

10:30pm goodnight, honey. thank you for everything. for today, for this gorgeous getaway, for this birthday week. for dinner, that salad was perfect. // of course, lover. push that pillow below your back just a bit snugger? // yes. i

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In Challah, Life Lessons

There’s something about baking. It gives you the chance to reflect and practice patience. It’s a metaphor for life – overwork the dough and it will get tough, ignore it and it will return heaviness. Give it the right touch

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In Challah, Life Lessons

There’s something about baking. It gives you the chance to reflect and practice patience. It’s a metaphor for life – overwork the dough and it will get tough, ignore it and it will return heaviness. Give it the right touch

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Av (Leo)

Av is the fifth month of the Jewish calendar year. According to the Kabbalistic Book of Formation this moon is dedicated to enhancing one’s hearing, in its capacity to be a vehicle for understanding. Traditionally, the month of Av is divided into

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Av (Leo)

Av is the fifth month of the Jewish calendar year. According to the Kabbalistic Book of Formation this moon is dedicated to enhancing one’s hearing, in its capacity to be a vehicle for understanding. Traditionally, the month of Av is divided into

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Internal River

While pausing one of my life lines and slowing down that path another line burst forth into a full gallop. By slowing down and diverting one internal river I have allowed the tributaries to flow into a stream that is

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Internal River

While pausing one of my life lines and slowing down that path another line burst forth into a full gallop. By slowing down and diverting one internal river I have allowed the tributaries to flow into a stream that is

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The Fuel Of Regret

While many of the women of our project will take a hiatus for the months of Tamuz and Av, a few contributors agreed to remain and share words on this very theme of ‘pausing for self-care’. It wasn’t going to be

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The Fuel Of Regret

While many of the women of our project will take a hiatus for the months of Tamuz and Av, a few contributors agreed to remain and share words on this very theme of ‘pausing for self-care’. It wasn’t going to be

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Pause

While many of the women of our project will take a hiatus for the months of Tamuz and Av, a few contributors agreed to remain and share words on this very theme of ‘pausing for self-care’. .. I’ve been learning more

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Pause

While many of the women of our project will take a hiatus for the months of Tamuz and Av, a few contributors agreed to remain and share words on this very theme of ‘pausing for self-care’. .. I’ve been learning more

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