The Fuel Of Regret

It wasn’t going to be a big deal. It’s just another birthday. I’m cool. Next month I turn 40. Ok, I’m not cool. The mid-life crisis is a stereotype and a joke until it happens to you.  And whether I

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The Fuel Of Regret

It wasn’t going to be a big deal. It’s just another birthday. I’m cool. Next month I turn 40. Ok, I’m not cool. The mid-life crisis is a stereotype and a joke until it happens to you.  And whether I

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Pause

While many of the women of our project will take a hiatus for the months of Tamuz and Av, a few contributors agreed to remain and share words on this very theme of ‘pausing for self-care’. .. I’ve been learning more

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Pause

While many of the women of our project will take a hiatus for the months of Tamuz and Av, a few contributors agreed to remain and share words on this very theme of ‘pausing for self-care’. .. I’ve been learning more

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Trust

While many of the women of our project will take a hiatus for the months of Tamuz and Av, a few contributors agreed to remain and share words on this very theme of ‘pausing for self-care’. .. I am not sure

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Trust

While many of the women of our project will take a hiatus for the months of Tamuz and Av, a few contributors agreed to remain and share words on this very theme of ‘pausing for self-care’. .. I am not sure

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Tamuz (Cancer)

tamuz is the fourth month of the jewish calendar year. according to the kabbalistic book of formation this moon is dedicated to enhancing one’s vision, the ability to see beyond physical perception toward what is true. tamuz also begins the summer season which

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Tamuz (Cancer)

tamuz is the fourth month of the jewish calendar year. according to the kabbalistic book of formation this moon is dedicated to enhancing one’s vision, the ability to see beyond physical perception toward what is true. tamuz also begins the summer season which

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Nobodies Baby But Mine

I have this idea in my head that the law of conservation of energy and love are related. I like to think that love cannot be destroyed, like energy, but that it just changes. I believe in love. Love moves

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Nobodies Baby But Mine

I have this idea in my head that the law of conservation of energy and love are related. I like to think that love cannot be destroyed, like energy, but that it just changes. I believe in love. Love moves

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To Bow Willingly

Rumi’s poem, “Willingly or Unwillingly” has been in my thoughts: The faithful bow willingly, intending the pleasure of God. The unbeliever worships God, but unwillingly,  intending some other desire. Yes, he keeps the King’s fortress in good repair, but claims

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To Bow Willingly

Rumi’s poem, “Willingly or Unwillingly” has been in my thoughts: The faithful bow willingly, intending the pleasure of God. The unbeliever worships God, but unwillingly,  intending some other desire. Yes, he keeps the King’s fortress in good repair, but claims

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The Presence of Two

i have been devoted to building community structure for as long as i can remember. maybe the ‘good girl’ in me believed this would help me accumulate prestige and popularity, most probably it is because i crave connection, an opportunity

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The Presence of Two

i have been devoted to building community structure for as long as i can remember. maybe the ‘good girl’ in me believed this would help me accumulate prestige and popularity, most probably it is because i crave connection, an opportunity

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Sivan (Gemini)

sivan is the third month of the jewish calendar year, and its moon bares the symbol of gemini or twins. the kabbalah understands these twins as a lover and beloved, a pair whose profound connection traverses the space between opposite and

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Sivan (Gemini)

sivan is the third month of the jewish calendar year, and its moon bares the symbol of gemini or twins. the kabbalah understands these twins as a lover and beloved, a pair whose profound connection traverses the space between opposite and

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Emergence

Happiness abounds… I can feel it emerging like the blooming flowers on my rooftop garden. I realize now as I emerge from a deep catatonic state and catch myself dwelling in fear that I can just as easily shift my

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Emergence

Happiness abounds… I can feel it emerging like the blooming flowers on my rooftop garden. I realize now as I emerge from a deep catatonic state and catch myself dwelling in fear that I can just as easily shift my

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Little Stone

I’ve been offered a full time job at a top advertising agency. It means more money and responsibility, a better title, and possibly the thing I’ve been looking for: a career. The problem is that I thought I left advertising

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Little Stone

I’ve been offered a full time job at a top advertising agency. It means more money and responsibility, a better title, and possibly the thing I’ve been looking for: a career. The problem is that I thought I left advertising

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Polarities

when i reach down there is height when i trust there is vision when i know where i stand and i learn how to listen, i find peace and clarity and sunshine in my stability. there in the dark, there

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Polarities

when i reach down there is height when i trust there is vision when i know where i stand and i learn how to listen, i find peace and clarity and sunshine in my stability. there in the dark, there

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Middle Woman’s Paradox

While I am stretching and extending my arms and consciousness I am also thrashed and pummeled in echo chambers of small mind and small self, of judgment and sense of separation. How can I face this expanse of paradox? As

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Middle Woman’s Paradox

While I am stretching and extending my arms and consciousness I am also thrashed and pummeled in echo chambers of small mind and small self, of judgment and sense of separation. How can I face this expanse of paradox? As

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Unbound

Why is it so uncomfortable to sit in the “both, and”? I want everything to fall into perfect, neat, and predictable. Controllable categories. No contradictions. No compromises. No cliff hangers and in betweens. Black and white. Either, Or, Please. I

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Unbound

Why is it so uncomfortable to sit in the “both, and”? I want everything to fall into perfect, neat, and predictable. Controllable categories. No contradictions. No compromises. No cliff hangers and in betweens. Black and white. Either, Or, Please. I

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Unfamiliar Territory

It was feeding day and the rattlesnakes were hungry. The caretaker released two tiny white mice into the terrarium and within seconds, the first snake had lurched forward and sunk its glistening teeth into the innocent creature. I watched the

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Unfamiliar Territory

It was feeding day and the rattlesnakes were hungry. The caretaker released two tiny white mice into the terrarium and within seconds, the first snake had lurched forward and sunk its glistening teeth into the innocent creature. I watched the

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Face To Face

Today a fresh start in a place I call “home”, who knows tomorrow. It’s Spring and I’m sitting here in my still somewhat empty living room, listening to the birds singing their early morning melody, interrupted only by the sound

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Face To Face

Today a fresh start in a place I call “home”, who knows tomorrow. It’s Spring and I’m sitting here in my still somewhat empty living room, listening to the birds singing their early morning melody, interrupted only by the sound

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Family Vacation

somewhere between unpacking my bags and meeting for our second breakfast, i start to lose my shit. i am irritable, easily triggered, lost in childhood stories of not being seen or maybe not having enough space. our house was small,

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Family Vacation

somewhere between unpacking my bags and meeting for our second breakfast, i start to lose my shit. i am irritable, easily triggered, lost in childhood stories of not being seen or maybe not having enough space. our house was small,

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Iyar (Taurus)

Iyar is the second month of the Jewish calendar year. According to the Kabbalistic Book of Formation this moon offers an auspicious time for the refinement and healing of self and soul. Iyar is a bridge between the festivals of Passover,

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Iyar (Taurus)

Iyar is the second month of the Jewish calendar year. According to the Kabbalistic Book of Formation this moon offers an auspicious time for the refinement and healing of self and soul. Iyar is a bridge between the festivals of Passover,

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Micro Shifts

The month of Iyar marks one year since my son Noah was born.  It makes sense to me that he is a Taurus — an earth sign — because being his mom has brought more earthiness into my life. I

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Micro Shifts

The month of Iyar marks one year since my son Noah was born.  It makes sense to me that he is a Taurus — an earth sign — because being his mom has brought more earthiness into my life. I

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Time-Out

I believe the great refiner is relationship. Whether it is our relationship with a spouse, a child, a parent, a friend, a boss, a client, a student, our bodies or spirit, these are the things that call us to refinement.

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Time-Out

I believe the great refiner is relationship. Whether it is our relationship with a spouse, a child, a parent, a friend, a boss, a client, a student, our bodies or spirit, these are the things that call us to refinement.

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Satisfaction Guaranteed

While I’ve done short spring cleanses lasting a few days to a week, this was a tall order. As my 33rd birthday gift to myself, I embarked on a 21 day clean-eating protocol based on the work of Dr. Alejandro

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Satisfaction Guaranteed

While I’ve done short spring cleanses lasting a few days to a week, this was a tall order. As my 33rd birthday gift to myself, I embarked on a 21 day clean-eating protocol based on the work of Dr. Alejandro

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Standing The Test of Time

How to heal and grow my inner-confidence has been a lifelong struggle. For many years, my confidence has been buried in a traumatic fear from my childhood — seeking to stay ahead, so far as not to be shattered by family

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Standing The Test of Time

How to heal and grow my inner-confidence has been a lifelong struggle. For many years, my confidence has been buried in a traumatic fear from my childhood — seeking to stay ahead, so far as not to be shattered by family

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Potent Medicine

Seeking the higher ground I opportunistically reach my hands toward the light saber of illumination and ask for healing. The fruit is ripe on the tree and I want to choose what I take with care and attention. I question: what will

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Potent Medicine

Seeking the higher ground I opportunistically reach my hands toward the light saber of illumination and ask for healing. The fruit is ripe on the tree and I want to choose what I take with care and attention. I question: what will

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To Be A (Better) Writer

I start school this fall, a Masters Program for Creative writing. It’s going to be a challenge.  I’ll have to focus again the way I did last time I was in school, four years ago. Academia requires sincere improvement; there’s

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To Be A (Better) Writer

I start school this fall, a Masters Program for Creative writing. It’s going to be a challenge.  I’ll have to focus again the way I did last time I was in school, four years ago. Academia requires sincere improvement; there’s

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Lupa Is Dead

At the end of this last year my friend Lupa died. We were friends for many years and when she died I was devastated, but now, I am happy she is gone. That may sound cold, but she did not

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Lupa Is Dead

At the end of this last year my friend Lupa died. We were friends for many years and when she died I was devastated, but now, I am happy she is gone. That may sound cold, but she did not

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A Kinder Place

It was Tuesday. The late afternoon sun was shining outside but in my living room it was quiet and peaceful. Suddenly I heard a strange sound right outside the window. It sounded like a muffled scream. I looked up from

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A Kinder Place

It was Tuesday. The late afternoon sun was shining outside but in my living room it was quiet and peaceful. Suddenly I heard a strange sound right outside the window. It sounded like a muffled scream. I looked up from

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A Lesson In Excavation

The other day I met with the poet Marie Howe to show her some of my writing. She told me to point to the place in my poem I thought most important, where there was something at stake. I hesitantly

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A Lesson In Excavation

The other day I met with the poet Marie Howe to show her some of my writing. She told me to point to the place in my poem I thought most important, where there was something at stake. I hesitantly

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Tender Peace

First I learn what is true. Then I learn to tell the truth. At some point (hopefully) I learn to tell the truth honestly, without seeking validation or confirmation. He asked a difficult question and then laid in my arms

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Tender Peace

First I learn what is true. Then I learn to tell the truth. At some point (hopefully) I learn to tell the truth honestly, without seeking validation or confirmation. He asked a difficult question and then laid in my arms

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Going With The Flow

After months of tending to my family and enduring what felt like a long winter, I am delighted that spring is finally here. To celebrate spring, I am going to start by taking stock of my goals and refine what

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Going With The Flow

After months of tending to my family and enduring what felt like a long winter, I am delighted that spring is finally here. To celebrate spring, I am going to start by taking stock of my goals and refine what

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Refinement Through Storytelling

This month has been all about refinement and I feel a deep relief to arrive here and share what is in my heart. I can’t help but muse about how my personal story is so similar to what happened historically to

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Refinement Through Storytelling

This month has been all about refinement and I feel a deep relief to arrive here and share what is in my heart. I can’t help but muse about how my personal story is so similar to what happened historically to

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Nisan (Aries)

nisan is the first month of the jewish calendar year. according to the kabalistic book of formation, this month belongs to the beginner who seeks authenticity by freeing herself from the bonds of expectation and fear of failure. on the

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Nisan (Aries)

nisan is the first month of the jewish calendar year. according to the kabalistic book of formation, this month belongs to the beginner who seeks authenticity by freeing herself from the bonds of expectation and fear of failure. on the

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Complicated Sorrows

Winter Solstice 2014 I was out walking today, considering your invitation to share how Mom’s death affected my heart.  So few people ask such questions. Snow fell cold against my face and breath filled my chest.  It reached all the

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Complicated Sorrows

Winter Solstice 2014 I was out walking today, considering your invitation to share how Mom’s death affected my heart.  So few people ask such questions. Snow fell cold against my face and breath filled my chest.  It reached all the

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Perfect Peach

I’ve just become a crone! Funny to realize I’ve reached this milestone. I can still see myself at 4 years old lusting in front of a perfect summer peach. Waiting for the courage that would eventually arrive and receiving the

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Perfect Peach

I’ve just become a crone! Funny to realize I’ve reached this milestone. I can still see myself at 4 years old lusting in front of a perfect summer peach. Waiting for the courage that would eventually arrive and receiving the

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Back At The Beginning

This is where it all began. It was late February and early March of 2013 when things began to get difficult for me. I was teaching about freshwater use and ocean acidification in my Environmental Studies Class, about equilbiria in

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Back At The Beginning

This is where it all began. It was late February and early March of 2013 when things began to get difficult for me. I was teaching about freshwater use and ocean acidification in my Environmental Studies Class, about equilbiria in

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The Beginner’s Prayer

May we have the courage to be fully and utterly true to ourselves. May we remember the absolute integrity that brought us into form. May we feel in our bones the truth of our purpose and presence here, now. May

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The Beginner’s Prayer

May we have the courage to be fully and utterly true to ourselves. May we remember the absolute integrity that brought us into form. May we feel in our bones the truth of our purpose and presence here, now. May

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Toward Better Shores

On the new moon of Nisan I begin to clean and clear the clutter, inside and out. With her delicate first light I know I must prepare or I will not be ready to receive the gifts of her fullness.

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Toward Better Shores

On the new moon of Nisan I begin to clean and clear the clutter, inside and out. With her delicate first light I know I must prepare or I will not be ready to receive the gifts of her fullness.

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Fresh Approach to Ancient Flavors

Having lived in New York for so long, it always feels too good to be true when our California spring arrives so seemingly early.  I’m usually just getting my fire building skills perfected when the fields of mustard arrive and the

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Fresh Approach to Ancient Flavors

Having lived in New York for so long, it always feels too good to be true when our California spring arrives so seemingly early.  I’m usually just getting my fire building skills perfected when the fields of mustard arrive and the

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The Beginner With Vision

I have been working on a small documentary photography project at the Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park in East London. I hadn’t been to the site since the Olympic Games back in the summer of 2012 and so much has changed.

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The Beginner With Vision

I have been working on a small documentary photography project at the Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park in East London. I hadn’t been to the site since the Olympic Games back in the summer of 2012 and so much has changed.

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Name Change

I’m fascinated by how many times the beginner stage occurs in a single lifetime, and how ultimately we face each beginning alone. I have a hard time being alone in the bigger sense. Of course I enjoy hours of the

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Name Change

I’m fascinated by how many times the beginner stage occurs in a single lifetime, and how ultimately we face each beginning alone. I have a hard time being alone in the bigger sense. Of course I enjoy hours of the

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Through The Gate Of Initiation

Yes, through the gate.  Walking on edges and ledges, Riding on fences and into the wild. What is out there in the unknown, who will meet us in the great unseen? Before we have prepared to launch is the shift

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Through The Gate Of Initiation

Yes, through the gate.  Walking on edges and ledges, Riding on fences and into the wild. What is out there in the unknown, who will meet us in the great unseen? Before we have prepared to launch is the shift

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On Meditation + Hysterical Babies

It’s amazing how relative the passage of time can feel. The common catchphrase is, “if it went by fast, that means you must have enjoyed it!” So if it goes by slowly, does that mean i necessarily don’t? This month

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On Meditation + Hysterical Babies

It’s amazing how relative the passage of time can feel. The common catchphrase is, “if it went by fast, that means you must have enjoyed it!” So if it goes by slowly, does that mean i necessarily don’t? This month

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Color My World

I spent the last week in Oaxaca, Mexico, and was woken up by the brilliance of colors there. I became aware of how much color affects how I feel, and subsequently how much it’s missing from my life, how maybe

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Color My World

I spent the last week in Oaxaca, Mexico, and was woken up by the brilliance of colors there. I became aware of how much color affects how I feel, and subsequently how much it’s missing from my life, how maybe

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Tattered Beauty

From cocoon to butterfly, from cocoon to butterfly… this cycle is ongoing. The continuous journey into becoming a strong, happy, loving, healthy woman is anything but linear. And for those of us who are hungry to know our purpose in

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Tattered Beauty

From cocoon to butterfly, from cocoon to butterfly… this cycle is ongoing. The continuous journey into becoming a strong, happy, loving, healthy woman is anything but linear. And for those of us who are hungry to know our purpose in

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Do-Over

Freedom slipped into my dance class this evening in the most unexpected of ways. In this class we do not follow steps, we follow our bodies. We are lead by our breath and feet and hips and bellies. The dance

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Do-Over

Freedom slipped into my dance class this evening in the most unexpected of ways. In this class we do not follow steps, we follow our bodies. We are lead by our breath and feet and hips and bellies. The dance

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My New Favorite Stranger

In the beginning of February, and the months before, I was a wrecked and broken soul. I was single for the first time in over ten years and felt alone and lost. When February came I was determined to make

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My New Favorite Stranger

In the beginning of February, and the months before, I was a wrecked and broken soul. I was single for the first time in over ten years and felt alone and lost. When February came I was determined to make

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Relax To Rise

Here we are between the exhale of winter and the inhale of spring.   It is a curious moment of consideration, a grace period of sorts before the warmer weather quickens our pace and the first daffodils and forsythia burst

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Relax To Rise

Here we are between the exhale of winter and the inhale of spring.   It is a curious moment of consideration, a grace period of sorts before the warmer weather quickens our pace and the first daffodils and forsythia burst

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Pure Freedom

As of late, my primary focus has been juggling motherhood while balancing self-care. With two and half years of prior parenting experience under my belt, you’d think I would have figured out some perfect formula on how to keep the household

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Pure Freedom

As of late, my primary focus has been juggling motherhood while balancing self-care. With two and half years of prior parenting experience under my belt, you’d think I would have figured out some perfect formula on how to keep the household

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Beginning In The Middle

Beginnings remind me of gossamer.  Newly formed webs full of space. Even beginnings in my life that have been full of intensity and force – like when I met my husband, still conjure for me an underlying quality of spaciousness.

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Beginning In The Middle

Beginnings remind me of gossamer.  Newly formed webs full of space. Even beginnings in my life that have been full of intensity and force – like when I met my husband, still conjure for me an underlying quality of spaciousness.

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Adar (Pisces)

Adar is the 12th and last month of the Hebrew calendar. According to the Kabbalah this month is associated with metamorphosis and ecstatic joy. The 15th day of adar, marks the festival of Purim, a holiday of masks, hidden identities,

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Adar (Pisces)

Adar is the 12th and last month of the Hebrew calendar. According to the Kabbalah this month is associated with metamorphosis and ecstatic joy. The 15th day of adar, marks the festival of Purim, a holiday of masks, hidden identities,

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Lustrous + Worn

I’m constantly struggling with my role as a consultant and business owner in a world dominated by men. I feel strong and feminine. Proud of what I’ve accomplished but in constant fear of any repercussions. I have to disguise who I am

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Lustrous + Worn

I’m constantly struggling with my role as a consultant and business owner in a world dominated by men. I feel strong and feminine. Proud of what I’ve accomplished but in constant fear of any repercussions. I have to disguise who I am

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‘as it should be’

today, i feel unmasked. i woke up to the sun with my beloved closely tucked by my side. i went to the gym and sweat with justin timberlake + jay z, stood under the steaming shower head for many minutes.

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‘as it should be’

today, i feel unmasked. i woke up to the sun with my beloved closely tucked by my side. i went to the gym and sweat with justin timberlake + jay z, stood under the steaming shower head for many minutes.

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Masks of Revelation

In contemplating this months theme of MASKS the image that has been coming to mind is a paper mache mask that shows every wrinkle and love line that my face holds. It reminds me of a cast some women make

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Masks of Revelation

In contemplating this months theme of MASKS the image that has been coming to mind is a paper mache mask that shows every wrinkle and love line that my face holds. It reminds me of a cast some women make

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Unmasked At Death

Dedicated to the memory of my dear friend Keturah Washington. Death makes us more aware of the masks we employ as individuals. We need them to survive, to adapt to our ever-changing surroundings. Most of us can’t be the same

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Unmasked At Death

Dedicated to the memory of my dear friend Keturah Washington. Death makes us more aware of the masks we employ as individuals. We need them to survive, to adapt to our ever-changing surroundings. Most of us can’t be the same

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See You, See Me

Where are we when we let our masks fall away?  Union. Yoga. Acceptance. Peace. May I see you; may you see me. May we all know this feeling of being this awake, this free. photo of Elena by Chloe Crespi

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See You, See Me

Where are we when we let our masks fall away?  Union. Yoga. Acceptance. Peace. May I see you; may you see me. May we all know this feeling of being this awake, this free. photo of Elena by Chloe Crespi

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Do You Taste Joy?

On the long and winding road to promise, I say, “Greetings!” Depending on the sound of the knock, the vibration it sends, its aim, my heart expels all sorts of shades. Remove your mask! The ball is over, but the

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Do You Taste Joy?

On the long and winding road to promise, I say, “Greetings!” Depending on the sound of the knock, the vibration it sends, its aim, my heart expels all sorts of shades. Remove your mask! The ball is over, but the

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True Companions

These Masks I am rotating through are becoming tattered and worn. The busyness Mask has been exhausted and frayed on the inside for many moons, now on the outside too. I wear this mask through the tiny eye slits of

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True Companions

These Masks I am rotating through are becoming tattered and worn. The busyness Mask has been exhausted and frayed on the inside for many moons, now on the outside too. I wear this mask through the tiny eye slits of

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Tragedy, Comedy, and the Mask of Judgement

Sometimes I think of a mask as a vehicle for expressing different parts of our spirit and personality to the world. Other times I think of a mask as a tool to cover up or disguise the truth of who

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Tragedy, Comedy, and the Mask of Judgement

Sometimes I think of a mask as a vehicle for expressing different parts of our spirit and personality to the world. Other times I think of a mask as a tool to cover up or disguise the truth of who

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No Need To Pretend

On this bright, snowy morning the snowflakes whizzing past my bedroom window catch the light, twinkling like disco balls.  The air fills with daytime stars. I love being home, but as I fantasize about far away adventures, even the holographic snowflakes

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No Need To Pretend

On this bright, snowy morning the snowflakes whizzing past my bedroom window catch the light, twinkling like disco balls.  The air fills with daytime stars. I love being home, but as I fantasize about far away adventures, even the holographic snowflakes

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Learning To Receive

our theme this month stumped me at first. however, after meditating on how the idea of masks relates to my personal world, i thought to myself about how this month i was able to remove my very familiar, ‘i can

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Learning To Receive

our theme this month stumped me at first. however, after meditating on how the idea of masks relates to my personal world, i thought to myself about how this month i was able to remove my very familiar, ‘i can

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Happy Mask

I read this article a few days ago. It is about how humans in the U.S. are asked to love their jobs. If they don’t love their jobs they are asked to act like they do. In the article Paul

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Happy Mask

I read this article a few days ago. It is about how humans in the U.S. are asked to love their jobs. If they don’t love their jobs they are asked to act like they do. In the article Paul

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Whole-Hearted Play

I adore playing characters.  This started in my early childhood when I played dress up and all related games. While I acted in several school plays as a child and adolescent, I haven’t done any formal acting as an adult.

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Whole-Hearted Play

I adore playing characters.  This started in my early childhood when I played dress up and all related games. While I acted in several school plays as a child and adolescent, I haven’t done any formal acting as an adult.

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Self Portrait as a Unicorn

I love dressing up in costumes. It’s the playfulness of it that I enjoy most—shaking up the everyday and, for a few hours, stepping into the absurd, surreal, comical, magical. There is so much anxiety tied to my outward appearances

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Self Portrait as a Unicorn

I love dressing up in costumes. It’s the playfulness of it that I enjoy most—shaking up the everyday and, for a few hours, stepping into the absurd, surreal, comical, magical. There is so much anxiety tied to my outward appearances

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Unearthing Everything

It was surprisingly sunny and the pilot announced a mild seven degrees as the plane circled above Heathrow preparing itself for landing. Almost home. I wondered how many more times I would be thinking that while suspended in the skies

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Unearthing Everything

It was surprisingly sunny and the pilot announced a mild seven degrees as the plane circled above Heathrow preparing itself for landing. Almost home. I wondered how many more times I would be thinking that while suspended in the skies

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Shevat (Aquarius)

shevat is the 11th month of the jewish calendar year. the teachers of the kabbalah, ask us this month, to focus on the pleasure and complexities of consumption, for both body and soul. shevat marks the new year for trees, an ancient

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Shevat (Aquarius)

shevat is the 11th month of the jewish calendar year. the teachers of the kabbalah, ask us this month, to focus on the pleasure and complexities of consumption, for both body and soul. shevat marks the new year for trees, an ancient

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Consumed By My Mother

Growing up with an alcoholic mother has been a life of learning and growth. Though the sap in my soul had been thick and slow moving I can say that the new sprouts of learning have me reaching for the sky.

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Consumed By My Mother

Growing up with an alcoholic mother has been a life of learning and growth. Though the sap in my soul had been thick and slow moving I can say that the new sprouts of learning have me reaching for the sky.

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Trusting My Gut

it is raining outside. the drip-drop sounds of the world crying tears of joy, maybe sadness. it is unclear but either way this day provides space for contemplation, baking bread and making tea, writing words and cleaning out cabinets. the

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Trusting My Gut

it is raining outside. the drip-drop sounds of the world crying tears of joy, maybe sadness. it is unclear but either way this day provides space for contemplation, baking bread and making tea, writing words and cleaning out cabinets. the

/ No comments

Mindful Consumption

As I watch a cardinal seek out every last unhulled sunflower seed from the feeder, I contemplate my tendency to waste.  Forgotten leftovers.  Garlic sprouting green tails. Potatoes with eyes and pumpkins melting into rot. Many of us are well past the

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Mindful Consumption

As I watch a cardinal seek out every last unhulled sunflower seed from the feeder, I contemplate my tendency to waste.  Forgotten leftovers.  Garlic sprouting green tails. Potatoes with eyes and pumpkins melting into rot. Many of us are well past the

/ One Comment

Dissolving Doubt

May we come to know our doubt to see what lesson it holds. May we learn to consume our doubt and transform it into those practices that keep us. Protect us. Guide us. Provide for us. May we learn what

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Dissolving Doubt

May we come to know our doubt to see what lesson it holds. May we learn to consume our doubt and transform it into those practices that keep us. Protect us. Guide us. Provide for us. May we learn what

/ No comments

Formula For Growth

There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it

/ One Comment

Formula For Growth

There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it

/ One Comment

Enough Is Enough

The holiday season always brings about a much greater awareness of consumption and the role it plays in my life. I don’t see my family very often – in fact I hadn’t seen my brother and my mother in an

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Enough Is Enough

The holiday season always brings about a much greater awareness of consumption and the role it plays in my life. I don’t see my family very often – in fact I hadn’t seen my brother and my mother in an

/ No comments

Fourteen Days (Without Social Media)

Almost two years ago I decided to take a break from all communication (except work duties). I did this for three weeks. I logged out of all social media and turned off my phone. The only communication I had with

/ One Comment

Fourteen Days (Without Social Media)

Almost two years ago I decided to take a break from all communication (except work duties). I did this for three weeks. I logged out of all social media and turned off my phone. The only communication I had with

/ One Comment

Morning Presence

Thinking about breakfast is what gets me out of bed in the morning. And I’m not someone who lets a cup of coffee, bowl of cereal or muffin pass as the day’s initial fuel. No, I do breakfast right. Recently,

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Morning Presence

Thinking about breakfast is what gets me out of bed in the morning. And I’m not someone who lets a cup of coffee, bowl of cereal or muffin pass as the day’s initial fuel. No, I do breakfast right. Recently,

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Finding Love By Saying Yes

Consumption has been a theme that has been running through my mind and body recently. I think of consumption as it relates to those things I take into my body, heart and spirit, and those things I block and do

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Finding Love By Saying Yes

Consumption has been a theme that has been running through my mind and body recently. I think of consumption as it relates to those things I take into my body, heart and spirit, and those things I block and do

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Story Time

I feel guilty about nearly everything I consume: food, news, fashion, gossip. The two things that I don’t feel guilty about consuming are literature and music. Partly because they are intellectual and have to do with my own work, but

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Story Time

I feel guilty about nearly everything I consume: food, news, fashion, gossip. The two things that I don’t feel guilty about consuming are literature and music. Partly because they are intellectual and have to do with my own work, but

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Hunger + Satisfaction

Consumption, hunger, eating, food. Life centers around these themes. Whether on the most basic and literal level or on a more metaphoric or psychological level, we are consumers. We hunger and we eat. We must to live. But I know

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Hunger + Satisfaction

Consumption, hunger, eating, food. Life centers around these themes. Whether on the most basic and literal level or on a more metaphoric or psychological level, we are consumers. We hunger and we eat. We must to live. But I know

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Regeneration

I love the following sentence from Zivar’s explanation of this month of Shevat: honor the cycle of regeneration and make way for new shoots and modes of being. It has me thinking about the beauty of composting.  Regenerating food brings

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Regeneration

I love the following sentence from Zivar’s explanation of this month of Shevat: honor the cycle of regeneration and make way for new shoots and modes of being. It has me thinking about the beauty of composting.  Regenerating food brings

/ 2 Comments

When Anger is Cathartic (And Useful)

For some people, yoga and meditation serve as keys to unlocking the inner chambers of the self. For me, it was the blaring car horns and in-your-face, outta-my-way attitude of my chosen home city, New York. I have lived in

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When Anger is Cathartic (And Useful)

For some people, yoga and meditation serve as keys to unlocking the inner chambers of the self. For me, it was the blaring car horns and in-your-face, outta-my-way attitude of my chosen home city, New York. I have lived in

/ No comments

Tevet (Capricorn)

tevet is the 10th month of the jewish calendar year; according to kabbalah, this moon is associated with the sensation of anger, which in itself is neither good nor bad. in fact, when directed with integrity, anger can be both nurturing and

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Tevet (Capricorn)

tevet is the 10th month of the jewish calendar year; according to kabbalah, this moon is associated with the sensation of anger, which in itself is neither good nor bad. in fact, when directed with integrity, anger can be both nurturing and

/ No comments

On Generating Light

Lessons of 2014: Everyone around me is giving me the information I need in order to free myself. Instead of reacting, I dream up ways in which I can generate light.  .. The Medicine of Letting Go Beginning now, a prayer

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On Generating Light

Lessons of 2014: Everyone around me is giving me the information I need in order to free myself. Instead of reacting, I dream up ways in which I can generate light.  .. The Medicine of Letting Go Beginning now, a prayer

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Disappearance

I have a constant inner dialogue of anger when I’m en route somewhere in New York City. It feels like people are always in my way. When I’m pushing through a packed subway car on my way to work or

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Disappearance

I have a constant inner dialogue of anger when I’m en route somewhere in New York City. It feels like people are always in my way. When I’m pushing through a packed subway car on my way to work or

/ 2 Comments

Anger, My Friend

  I’ve spent the last two years in therapy. Every Monday night from 7:00pm – 7:50pm I talked to a stranger about life. One thing we talked a lot about was anger. For as long as I can remember I

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Anger, My Friend

  I’ve spent the last two years in therapy. Every Monday night from 7:00pm – 7:50pm I talked to a stranger about life. One thing we talked a lot about was anger. For as long as I can remember I

/ One Comment

Many Faces of Anger

You know how they say the Eskimos have many words for snow*? I think I need more words for anger.  It’s not that it is ever-present or relentless, although I have, on occasion, built my shelter from it.  It’s just

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Many Faces of Anger

You know how they say the Eskimos have many words for snow*? I think I need more words for anger.  It’s not that it is ever-present or relentless, although I have, on occasion, built my shelter from it.  It’s just

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Grief, Masked As Anger

Maybe you are acting as a savior, a friend. So much grief in my system exposed, I couldn’t bear more of it as is. You come to offer me clearing. Indulge me, break something, run harder and faster. Get into

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Grief, Masked As Anger

Maybe you are acting as a savior, a friend. So much grief in my system exposed, I couldn’t bear more of it as is. You come to offer me clearing. Indulge me, break something, run harder and faster. Get into

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The Art of Bitter Spirits

Taking stock of 2014, there’s so much to celebrate.  A year full of love, travel, feasts and hardly any famine.  Yet it’s also the year that marks the close of Sweet Mama’s, my raw dessert business, in favor of a

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The Art of Bitter Spirits

Taking stock of 2014, there’s so much to celebrate.  A year full of love, travel, feasts and hardly any famine.  Yet it’s also the year that marks the close of Sweet Mama’s, my raw dessert business, in favor of a

/ No comments

Equations of Transformation

I am grateful to return to this musing and also renew my commitment to bringing music to you here. Anger is a powerful emotion. Recently I had an experience where I was shooting my anger outward toward other people; a

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Equations of Transformation

I am grateful to return to this musing and also renew my commitment to bringing music to you here. Anger is a powerful emotion. Recently I had an experience where I was shooting my anger outward toward other people; a

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Quick Flames, Raging Wildfire

I was told that nothing could ever prepare me for what it would be like. So I just accepted that. It’s going to be intense, they all told me. After six weeks on the subcontinent, that word has taken on

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Quick Flames, Raging Wildfire

I was told that nothing could ever prepare me for what it would be like. So I just accepted that. It’s going to be intense, they all told me. After six weeks on the subcontinent, that word has taken on

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In My Hips, On My Lips

‘Anger in my hips and on my lips.’  The other day, as I moved deep into pigeon pose in my yoga class, swirls of energy moved through my lower body.  Layer upon layer of emotion, which had settled into my

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In My Hips, On My Lips

‘Anger in my hips and on my lips.’  The other day, as I moved deep into pigeon pose in my yoga class, swirls of energy moved through my lower body.  Layer upon layer of emotion, which had settled into my

/ No comments

Anger + Gratitude

early on in my pregnancy, i was receiving substandard care due to my health insurance policy. there were a series of serious mishaps which triggered deep anger and frustration for me. instead of getting lost in my frustration, i decided

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Anger + Gratitude

early on in my pregnancy, i was receiving substandard care due to my health insurance policy. there were a series of serious mishaps which triggered deep anger and frustration for me. instead of getting lost in my frustration, i decided

/ No comments

Don’t Fight It

Me and anger. Anger and me. We’ve got beef between us. Anger is very much in my DNA. Not the normal, human, situational kind, but rather the Morrocan, unpredictable, disproportionate kind. The phrase my husband uses, “when the Morrocan is

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Don’t Fight It

Me and anger. Anger and me. We’ve got beef between us. Anger is very much in my DNA. Not the normal, human, situational kind, but rather the Morrocan, unpredictable, disproportionate kind. The phrase my husband uses, “when the Morrocan is

/ No comments

Permit Yourself Anger

I was thinking of poems about anger and this first section of “Is/Not” by Margaret Atwood came to mind. She gets at how sometimes we feel we don’t have permission to be angry, and that in and of itself can

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Permit Yourself Anger

I was thinking of poems about anger and this first section of “Is/Not” by Margaret Atwood came to mind. She gets at how sometimes we feel we don’t have permission to be angry, and that in and of itself can

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Dear Anger

From a Kabbalistic perspective, the month of Tevet brings us into the very physical nature of our lives and emotions, particularly the emotion of anger. Through our embodiment, we learn to experience the full intensity of our anger in a

/ 2 Comments

Dear Anger

From a Kabbalistic perspective, the month of Tevet brings us into the very physical nature of our lives and emotions, particularly the emotion of anger. Through our embodiment, we learn to experience the full intensity of our anger in a

/ 2 Comments

Wandering Spirit

i remember sitting near the open market in the sacred valley of peru. it was a hot day, not scorching but the sun strong enough to force me to remove layers, roll up my sleeves. i was traveling alone and

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Wandering Spirit

i remember sitting near the open market in the sacred valley of peru. it was a hot day, not scorching but the sun strong enough to force me to remove layers, roll up my sleeves. i was traveling alone and

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Divine Trust

My aunt told me that the first time she met me was at our house. I was 5 years old. She said I instantly loved her and wanted to give her a gift before she left. I ran to get

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Divine Trust

My aunt told me that the first time she met me was at our house. I was 5 years old. She said I instantly loved her and wanted to give her a gift before she left. I ran to get

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Hungry For Love

Damn it, I’m not independent. Why didn’t my parents show me how to be that! Gotta do something about that, quick. My man isn’t going to stick around if I show him how much I need him. Look, I’m the

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Hungry For Love

Damn it, I’m not independent. Why didn’t my parents show me how to be that! Gotta do something about that, quick. My man isn’t going to stick around if I show him how much I need him. Look, I’m the

/ 3 Comments

Across The Heavens

I’m a homebody. Though I enjoy going out and traveling, my impulse is to stay in, and sometimes that impulse can be too strong. Recently a few friends have, independently, decided to interrupt their lives and fly off to foreign

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Across The Heavens

I’m a homebody. Though I enjoy going out and traveling, my impulse is to stay in, and sometimes that impulse can be too strong. Recently a few friends have, independently, decided to interrupt their lives and fly off to foreign

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Champion of the Heart

Rolling across the country in the trusty silver Ford with the Andalusian Chulita and her companion mini donkey, Benito “the blessing”, they make their way through no woman’s land to Tulsa, Oklahoma. A swirl of striatted pink mountains, brown, mud

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Champion of the Heart

Rolling across the country in the trusty silver Ford with the Andalusian Chulita and her companion mini donkey, Benito “the blessing”, they make their way through no woman’s land to Tulsa, Oklahoma. A swirl of striatted pink mountains, brown, mud

/ No comments

Grounded Mama

The month of Kislev is about going inside, darkness + solitude. My son Noah just turned six months.  Since he was born, I have spent little time with myself, going inside or carving out alone time.  Before Noah, I was

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Grounded Mama

The month of Kislev is about going inside, darkness + solitude. My son Noah just turned six months.  Since he was born, I have spent little time with myself, going inside or carving out alone time.  Before Noah, I was

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Home Comforts

It’s funny. I need and I value independence. I love to dream, to flow, to dance, for my spirit to wander freely. But lately I’ve been feeling like the needs of my soul – to land, to root, to create

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Home Comforts

It’s funny. I need and I value independence. I love to dream, to flow, to dance, for my spirit to wander freely. But lately I’ve been feeling like the needs of my soul – to land, to root, to create

/ No comments

Pura Vida

Four women practice morning yoga together at SpaHolis in Costa Rica.  By grace, one of them is me. As we balance in tree pose overlooking a transcendent aqua ocean view, monkeys cackle from the rooftop above.  Hibiscus flowers pop scarlet

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Pura Vida

Four women practice morning yoga together at SpaHolis in Costa Rica.  By grace, one of them is me. As we balance in tree pose overlooking a transcendent aqua ocean view, monkeys cackle from the rooftop above.  Hibiscus flowers pop scarlet

/ No comments

Abandoning Reason

with the birth of baby 2 around the corner, i am aware of how blessed i am to have built a business over time and to have the flexibility to be with the baby after he’s born. i’ve taken my

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Abandoning Reason

with the birth of baby 2 around the corner, i am aware of how blessed i am to have built a business over time and to have the flexibility to be with the baby after he’s born. i’ve taken my

/ No comments

Kislev (Sagittarius)

kislev is the ninth month of the jewish calendar year. according to the kabbalisitic tradition, the heightened energy associated with this sagittarian moon is active trust which ushers in deep relaxation that we may wander in our hearts and engage

/ No comments

Kislev (Sagittarius)

kislev is the ninth month of the jewish calendar year. according to the kabbalisitic tradition, the heightened energy associated with this sagittarian moon is active trust which ushers in deep relaxation that we may wander in our hearts and engage

/ No comments